Family Photos When Your Husband Hates Being in Pictures

As a family photographer, believe me, you are not alone. I have had so many reluctant dads ( and grandads and uncles) be in family photos. I’m wondering if it’s the approach of doing family photos and if we need to reframe things. Your family shoot is less about being in front of the camera, but more about setting aside intentional family time.

A Real Story From a Recent Family Shoot

A Burleigh Beach–based mum of toddlers reached out, and reading her email, I was taken with her words of intense love for her family and her need to capture their journey and gratitude.

When I arrived at the shoot, Dad was ready and happy to meet me, but stayed in the background. Then both Mum and Dad gently reassured me that he was okay with not being in the photos. I wasn’t offended — it was empowering and I understood.

Instead, he was the support for his wife who NEEDED this. I thought it was so supportive and beautiful how he showed up for her — intentionally in the background and on hand for snack breaks, nappy changes, and tantrums, while letting her shine. And truly she did while breastfeeding in the waves in golden light at Burleigh Beach.

He was in a few meaningful ones (really when he wasn’t looking) and gently obliged for a few that would adorn walls.

And most dads warm up to me and they realise that I prefer this to be collaborative and fun , less scripted and more about their family story. And those are the best images — unplanned and collaborative.

Why Do So Many Men Feel Awkward in Photos?

It’s not only men , very few people feel comfortable in front of the camera. Let’s be real. It IS awkward.

So let’s reframe things : this isn’t about being stiff in front of photos, it IS about being with your family. My approach is experience-led, it’s storytelling. There is a difference in standing and smiling in front of the camera vs. your hand holding your child’s hand, or flinging them up in the air, or having your toddler squash your face.

Your Husband Refuses to Be in Family Photos — What to Do?

I think the answer lies in the above — don’t force it. Most people don’t want to be told what to do. I have had silent acts of rebellion in a shoot (forced smiles, secret disrespectful hand signals — thanks AI for removing them).

But trust me to break the ice and get them on board, and also be okay with just a few, and be okay with this being focused on you, Mumma.

Sometimes Dad will step in out of FOMO because who doesn’t want to play with the kids?

But most often, dads realise the photographer is working to make this an experience, their wives need this more than they realised, and when we are done I have had SO many dads state this didn’t feel like a shoot.

What it actually feels like is hanging out at one of the beautiful creeks in the Northern Rivers or beaches along the Tweed Coast and Gold Coast.

I have written a helpful blog post on planning for a stress-free family shoot — you can read it here. Another resource is how to prepare your kids for a fun shoot and how I capture candid photos.

What Dads Can Do Instead (That Still Makes the Photos Meaningful)

Please don’t make this awkward for her — she needs this more than you know.

Also, it’s so important to remember that your children value presence over forced smiles and perfect poses.

So many mums complain the only photos of their family are of Dad with the kids or just the kids — she isn’t in them, and when she is, she looks terrible.

So my solution: take better photos of your wife OR decide that setting aside time to support her is one of the most meaningful things you can do.

These photos get more valuable as time goes by — other than compounding interest and assets that grow over time, what else has this attribute? And it’s a lot easier than the former!

So what can you do?
Be a support
Wear something nice
Don’t painfully grin — that’s the worst — rather don’t smile; some of my favourite photos of my family aren’t of them smiling
Play with your kids
LOVE on your wife
Gently communicate that it’s okay with you to not be in every photo
If you find yourself in the frame — don’t stop doing what you’re doing and run away, I’m often composing a shot with you in the story
Bring your superpower — DAD JOKES and humour. Trust me, don’t leave this at home, bring it and use it on shoot
Be prepared to play with your kids — it can be an energetic workout
Be prepared to dig out the snacks, or do a nappy change, or deal with a tantrum
Try to change your mindset — this isn’t a chore, it’s love in action. You don’t have to be in every photo
Please don’t plan a meeting/hangout immediately after your shoot. This makes everything unnecessarily rushed — the only thing you need to do is arrive with no other plans. That’s it. Oh, and play with your kids while we are photographing your kids.

Lastly, you don’t have to perform and be something you aren’t. That’s not a photo worth keeping.

For the Mum Who Organises All the Photos (You Deserve to Be in Them Too)

Mums — just organise the photos. That’s all.

Be okay with him not being in them, and know that you will finally have good photos of you with your kids, and trust your photographer to pull out images that do show your family love, however that unfolds — and communicate with your photographer that he doesn’t have to be in too many.

In my experience, dads want to play — so let them do that. They may need time to warm up to me, and if they still don’t (which is never the case), you will still get some meaningful photos. Let’s make this about your time together, NOT “he didn’t want photos done.”

The pressure is off, and even just knowing that can be a huge relief and ensure this will be fun (instead of about your husband who doesn’t want to be there!).

Plan your shoot — I have some helpful articles on planning for your shoot and preparing your kids.

And honestly, the best way is to know that these are about your family, your time together, and the goal is to be together. This article here goes through my approach for storytelling images that go beyond stiff poses.

Ready for Family Photos That Don’t Feel Forced?

If a relaxed, natural storytelling photoshoot pulls at your heart, I would love to work with you. It’s not about forced smiles — it IS about your heart and what’s real, meaningful, and true.

If that’s you — let’s do this. Contact me here and lets plan.

I am based on the Tweed Coast, Northern Rivers, and Gold Coast — photographing families, maternity, and newborns from all over the Gold Coast to Byron Bay, Lennox and Ballina.

My portfolio and rates are here.

---

FAQs

Do I have to get my husband in every photo?

No — go through a strategy with your photographer, kindly assure the photographer how your husband feels, and don’t put pressure on him to be in every photo. If the essentials are important, your photographer will set aside time to do this.

How can I get my husband comfortable in front of the camera?

I think it’s a chance to reframe what a family shoot is — it’s intentional time together, a meaningful experience. I find with anyone in front of my lens, the less pressure the better.

Let him and the kids know that there will be tonnes of play and a few intentional portraits.

I also find a few useful tips on planning gets everyone at ease — an easy one: be on time, be in a location that everyone loves, and prep your kids too. This all sets a beautiful tone.

How long does a family photoshoot take?

It depends on your session type — minis are 15–20 minutes, but it’s 20 minutes of forced smiles. My sessions are 1.5 hours — with zero time on forced smiles — all about play and moving in and out of the frame as you feel.

If his tolerance is 5 minutes at a time, that’s okay. It won’t feel like 1.5 hours when it’s playful.

Consider a fun location too — combine in-home and head to one of the beautiful local beaches along the Gold Coast and Northern Rivers. How about a trip in a tinny along Hastings or Mooball Creek?

Can I get candid, natural photos even if my husband doesn’t like posing?

Absolutely.
My sessions are all about this. Have a look through my galleries.

How should we prepare for our family photoshoot?
Every family that books me will receive a prep guide and I have written tips here on how to prepare for strory driven , natural candid family photos

What if my husband only wants to be in a few photos?

Send him this article! He doesn’t need to be in every photo. Chances are you already have lots of him on your phone. Its absolutely fine for him to only be in a few and be in the background as a support and be present for you and the kids without being photographed

How do we make family photos fun instead of stressful?

Plan a great location (lots of options here from Burleigh Beach to Byron Bay), plan your shoot, even plan an activity (like a skatepark — I would love a shoot at Pizzey Park or the Byron Bay skatepark), pack food and drinks, and small things like offering the kids a treat afterwards — this can easily become a family tradition.

And always reassure everyone this is about fun together, not looking at the camera.

Why are family photos important even if my husband doesn’t like them?

What’s the thing most people pull out of a burning house? What’s the thing that brings reassurance after someone passes away? One word. Photos.

Don’t let your reluctant husband be the reason you don’t do the photos. If you only have photos of your kids and husbands on your phone ( and a few selfies taken in the car ) then this is your permission slip to book the session. I have articles walking you through this , or if you’re ready – lets chat! I

If you’re looking for a Gold Coast or Northern Rivers family photographer who creates natural, story-driven sessions, I’d love to work with you.